The First Time
by Catbast
Summary: Santana's first thoughts of Brittany. Rated M for language and sexual themes. Set before/around season 1


The first time I saw you, I hated you.

There you were with the perfect blonde hair and the figure that would make any girl jealous. I was stretching my legs and you looked right at me and smirked. No one looked straight at me – they thought I would destroy them with my vicious words if I had the chance. But you didn't care you smiled at me and it made me feel weak. No one made Santana Lopez feel weak.

We then go inside, dismissed from cheerios' and I wait until all the other girls have gone into the locker rooms first. I talk to Coach Sue about something I make up on the spot – I saw that Sophie girl quiver when she held Lucy up on the pyramid. Of course Sue wanted all the details, so the longer I spoke, the longer I avoided the changing rooms.

I thought for sure that 20 minutes later everyone would be gone. It was a Friday evening, pretty much the weekend but you sat there still in your uniform when I walked into the changing rooms.

_Why do you always look so sad?_ You ask. I don't know what you're talking about. I put up my walls and I'll be damned if some ditzy blonde girl who I've hardly every spoken to is about to try and take them down.

I insult you, hitting you below the belt but you keep that dizzy little smile of yours on your face the whole time. You could read me like a book and I honestly hated you for it. You ask me again why I'm so sad all the time, and then you mention something about how your pet offers counseling if I need it. Despite everything, I smile. You walked forward, took your hand in mine and kissed it so delicately that if I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't have known. You then tell me you gotta run, your mom found your cats secret stash of cigars, but you'd love to hang out with me sometime. For once in my life, I actually did want to see you again, I really honest to god did.

I don't speak to you for a few days but then you sit next to me in history. I never let girls sit next to me, always guys. But it doesn't matter, you link your pinkie with mine and we fit just perfectly. I'm a lefty and you're a righty. You continue drawing pictures of unicorns on the back of your test so I know what I have to do. I ask if you need help in this class and I offer to tutor you. You gladly accept and soon enough that Friday night after cheerios' practice we are hanging out in my room eating ice cream and watching movies. It totally defeated the purpose of tutoring, but we had a fun time. It doesn't take you long to destroy my walls, not long at all. By the end of that night, one week later after you had spoken to me for the first time, we are cuddling under the duvet of my bed.

You hold me and we talk about everything. Our family members, people we like at school, people we don't like and so much more. You tell me of your negative image at school and how everyone thinks you're easy because you've made out with half of the boys and girls in our grade. I comfort you by telling you that a bad reputation is better than no reputation at all. Like hell she'd want to be like Berry, or Chang. You giggle and agree with me. You don't understand why everyone cares so much about labels and I sadly agree with you. That's just how high school is, honey.

You give me a peck on the lips goodnight and I soon reconsider whether I should have let my walls down or not. I stay there for an hour thinking of a reason of why we shouldn't be friends but when I hear your gentle snore, I realize that I do need you. I need you more than I've needed anyone in my life. Even in your sleep you've got a protective grip around me.

We wake up in the same position. You pull me closer for a second and I wonder what you're doing. You're hugging me even though we've been attached the whole night.

We actually do some studying that morning and you tell me I'm the best teacher you've ever had. You ask if I know Spanish and I give you a look. You blush and tell me that you thought I was Italian, but it didn't matter because you thought my skin color was beautiful anyway. You then stroke my arm and tell me how you wished you had my color of skin and I tell you that it's not everything. I'm a minority in the school and it's not exactly fun.

You explain you're a minority too because you're Dutch, but I'm not sure whether you're being serious or not. Either way it makes me feel loved that you'd try and help me feel better like that. Soon enough you have to go home and you tell me how you'll see me on Monday. You tried kiss me on the cheek but I moved my face at the wrong time and you accidently kiss me full on the lips. I had to hold back a moan and you took this as an opportunity to deepen the kiss. At this moment I know that there is no other place I'd rather be. You pull away with a pop and say your goodbyes again. You shut the door and reality hits me. I hate myself. I hated myself for getting into this mess. I had to ignore you because I was falling for you so quickly.

It was easy enough to convince myself that I could ignore you. But this was at home where I hadn't seen you. When I get back to school on Monday, you give me your flirty little smirk and it takes everything I have to ignore you and walk away. You leave me alone for the rest of the day, but then we have cheerios' practice and it's inevitable that we will come into contact with each other. I wait again. Like the last time I wait until the rest of the girls have walked into the locker rooms to get changed.

But of course you're waiting for me. I should have known. I walk into the changing room and you're stood there in your bra. You don't realize I'm there and you jump as the door shuts. I walk straight past you and you grab my arm. _What is your problem_? You ask. You're still in your bra and I can't concentrate, it only makes me angrier, more ashamed. _You're the problem_. I explain_. I don't like you like that_ and you laugh. But according to you, I've been checking you out since the first week of freshman year. _Of course you're into me_, you say. I deny this of course; I really thought I wasn't that obvious. _You totally want to tap this, you say_ and I lose it.

I push you into the lockers; our lips collide in an angry yet passionate struggle of dominance. I bite your lip and you moan. You started to drag me towards the showers. I hadn't had a shower yet and I assume that you hadn't either. You turn the shower on and we both move out of the way because the water is so damn cold. You tear off the shirt of my uniform and throw it on the ground. You do the same with my skirt and then I do the same to yours. We stand under the stream of water in our panties and bras. There isn't an inch of our skin that isn't touching.

I've slept with guys before but nothing has ever felt this amazing. We hadn't even gone further than first base and I felt more now with you than I had with anyone else. But then you slip your fingers into my underwear and I see stars. I grind against your leg and I suck your neck hard enough to leave a dark bruise-like hickey.

Your fingers are moving inside me and I've never felt pleasure like this. You made me feel so good that I nearly cried. I assault your neck in an attempt to quiet down my moans, but you're such an expert at what you're doing that I fail. I fail at trying to be quiet and you shush me because even you don't want to be caught.

You give me my first ever orgasm and because of this that small feeling of hate starts to bubble inside again. We shouldn't be doing this, fuck, I'm supposed to avoiding you. But then you give me your beautiful smile and I forget everything. I forget that I have a reputation to uphold, I forget that what we are doing is pretty fucking gay. In a town like this I could be beaten up for being gay. But I know I'm not, I've been with guys, I can't be. I'm distracted by my thoughts as you kiss me again. You know I'm distressed.

The first time I taste you is one of the best moments of my life. I do know what I'm doing; there are plenty of videos on the internet. But that's not what I love about my mouth between your legs, oh no. What I love are the sounds that come from your throat. You move your thigh so that it rests my shoulder and you hold the side of the shower for stability. You keep bucking your hips and if I wasn't in such a desperate attempt to make you come, I'd have laughed at how funny you looked. _San_, you moan and that's a first. No one's ever called me that. I don't know if it's because you're at a loss of words or if you just like the nickname.

I alternate between hard strokes and soft stokes along your slit. When I feel that you're close I dip my tongue inside you then I suck on your clit. Your moans have now changed to cries of pleasure. So much for trying to keep quiet.

You fall apart in my mouth and I can't get over how good you taste; so sweet with a hint of tanginess. It's perfect. You help me up and I hold you because you're still slightly wobbly from your post-orgasm state. We don't say anything while we get changed, but once we are ready, I ask you if you need a ride home. You say you'd love one and we sit in the car in a comfortable silence.

It turns out you don't live that far away from me. Maybe ten minutes. I drop you off outside your house and you kiss me for the last time that night. _I can taste myself on you_, you say. I blush because I'm still in disbelief that it happened. _Please don't __ignore__ me again, San. I__ really__ like you. _You say. I smile and nod my head. Right now I can't promise you that. I'd never admit it, but I'm so scared. I'm terrified but what scares me even more is that I think you know it. You know me better than I know myself, and I hardly know you.

You give my hand a squeeze as you thank me for the ride home. You give me a quick kiss on the cheek and jump out my car leaving me to think over everything that just happened.

As much as I hate myself for thinking it, I loved every minute. I'll do everything I can to make sure that it happens again.

* * *

**A/N:** My first ever smut, oh lord! But I thought this sounded better in my head, reading it back I'm not sure if I'm going to keep it or not.

Let me know if you liked this or not :) I think I will delete it in 24 hours if I don't get any feedback, haha


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